Archive | Genesis Review

Study Reveals Benefits of Eating Mandrakes

reported by BNP via the Genesis Review   Mandrakes are in high demand since a recent report was released announcing their unique merits.  A group of scientists, funded by the nutritional supplement company People Want Miracle Cures (PWMC), has published data showing that fruit flies eating only rotting mandrakes have higher rates of reproduction than […]

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Unauthorized Hole Digging in Gerar Creates Fracas

reported by BNP via the Genesis Review Holes being dug in Gerar Valley have environmentalist groups, local residents, and the government oligarchy all battling about who has legal prerogative in these circumstances.  The holes are previously functional wells being excavated by Isaac & Company, a large ranching operation in the area.  All of the wells […]

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Watering Camels Becoming Popular Pastime for Young Women in Mesopotamia

reported by BNP via the Genesis Review Parents around the city are having trouble with their daughters loitering around the community well, offering to water camels for complete strangers.  Ever since the news spread about Rebekah, daughter of the Nahorsons, being met there by the representative of a wealthy foreign businessman, activity around the local […]

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Prophet Prays for King of Gerar and Receives 1,000 in Silver

reported by BNP via the Genesis Review Several of the world’s prominent religious authorities from the High Religious Counsel (HRC) have come together to express disapproval that Abraham Hebrew performed spiritual rites for the king of Gerar.  They claim no layman has the training or connections with God to adequately pray for or counsel anyone, […]

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COST Accuses Community Leader of Barbarous Behavior

reported by BNP via the Genesis Review A spokesman for COST (Controlling Others for Societal Transformation) is shining the spotlight on questionable activity at Abram Hebrew’s ranch complex.  Word has leaked out that all male members of the family and all male servants were subjected to mutilation in a most humiliating and irrevocable way.  Suspicions […]

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