Archive | Leviticus Today

Ultimate Government Shut Down in Hands of All Hebrews

reported by BNP via Leviticus Today In an unexpected announcement, The God has outlined potential future government shut down policies.  While decisions regarding implementation are clearly under His control, responsibility is being left to the general citizenry. Situations leading to such a shut down are defined unambiguously and should not catch anyone by surprise. Any […]

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Notorious Aaron Amramson Chosen for Solo High Risk Priest Duties

reported by BNP via Leviticus Today Aaron Amramson has been named as the priest who will carry out a new important sacrificial assignment. His past record includes contributing to the delinquency of the general populace, and failure to properly supervise sacrificial fire. His appointment to this new post indicates that the new job is not […]

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Priesthood Loses Glamour With Announcement of Their Role in Monitoring Infectious Disease

reported by BNP via Leviticus Today The whole tribe of Levi was subdued after more information was released about their job duties. It seems the perks of high-end uniforms and food donations from other tribes will be off-set by some rather repulsive responsibilities. The priests will be having regular contact with those inflicted with infectious […]

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