In a way, my mom completed me and I have grappled with feeling lost and purposeless since her death eight months ago. I hope you understand. I mean, my husband completes me in the most full and voluptuous way that is mysterious and feels infinite to me, but my mom completed me in a way I didn’t know she completed me; until she was gone. Losing her has led me, as hopefully all struggles in life have potential to, to seek out God’s comforting mothering qualities. You hear so much about God the Father, but since male and female are made in His image, I feel desperate to find out about God’s Mother qualities. (click on any photo to enlarge)
Now, I have found over a lifetime that my sister and I have a bond that is strong. Through ups and downs, trials and laughs I will always choose my sister. And my sister-in-laws, aunt, cousins, and my mother-in-law have turned out to be priceless gifts in life. I’m truly blessed. But, I need a mom, and, ironically, it looks like ‘the man upstairs’ is my best option. “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.” (Isaiah 66:13). I need this promise to be my promise.
My heart physically aches because I miss my mom; and I miss her by my dad’s side. Only a true mother’s comfort can comfort that ache. I found an essay on Biblegateway that I think has some remarkable insights on the motherhood character nature of God:
In it, the writer says,
“How like the motherhood of God! God does not probe the wound when there is power to heal. How beautifully tender is the mother comfort of God! He asks no questions, utters no reproach, demands no explanation. He has not the scrutiny of a detective, but the sympathy of a devoted parent.”
In my yearnings, I can’t help but feel much of the church has focused too heartily on the Father character, and not enough on the Mother nature of God (no pun intended). I’m finding it to be an important missing piece to the puzzle.
Could there be any greater tenderness? Any greater option to corral the lost purposeless feeling? Or better yet, a more perfect tenderness and love? In fact, (and hopefully lightening doesn’t strike me), I’ve always had a difficult time connecting or relating to ‘the Father’s love,’ as it never seemed to quite fully describe it all; but I think that is because I’ve tried to fit all God’s characteristics into the parameter of a Father – which I only partly understand. However, when these are combined with mother characteristics, my eyes and heart have burst into a more thorough picture of God.
Through it all, I am finding a new balance of what is worthwhile and sacred versus what is meaningless. Because God feels bigger and Jesus feels closer, religion feels useless. God seems to be guiding me gently, like a mother would, through this new growth. Everything that is not helpful in living this life well and to the fullest is sloughing off. Everything true and sure is stabilizing me. God’s mother-like character is pursuing me and giving me steadiness. My mom was my biggest fan and cheerleader; so ready and willing to receive me no matter what. I am realizing now that she was a small reflection of how God is toward me.