reported by BNP via the Exodus Examiner
Free Egyptian Magician Aid (FEMA) has been scrambling this month to respond to multiple nationwide disasters. The latest, an unprecedented thunderstorm, has devastated Egypt’s barley and flax crops, as well as leading to the deaths of any persons and animals that were caught out in it. The National Open Air Hebrew (NOAH) channel has been forecasting the variations in natural phenomena, but the Egyptian government has been slow to take NOAH seriously and pass along the warnings.
FEMA has been unable to offer much assistance to citizens since the inexplicable epidemic of boils. The magicians themselves were incapacitated by the disease. They have just released an official statement to the effect that FEMA services will be suspended for an undetermined length of time. This means that people who have been waiting to have their rotting piles of frogs removed will have to do something themselves.
Ever since the Nile River was filled with blood, there has been discontent among Egyptians about how FEMA has been handling the disasters. People say that everywhere FEMA showed up, the problems got worse. There was a collective sigh of relief when FEMA magicians were not able to produce more gnats than were already present.
The head of FEMA was publicly snubbed by the Pharaoh when he tried to point out the pattern and probable cause of the disasters. The Pharaoh has been seen meeting regularly with Moses Hatshepsutson and his staff. The encounters reportedly end with Pharaoh making promises to Mr. Hatshepsutson about how the Hebrew sector will receive better treatment. Inside sources say Pharaoh tears up the contracts after Mr. Hatshepsutson leaves the Palace.
(for further information see Exodus 7 – 9)